works

.gitignore

@@ -1,2 +1,3 @@
 node_modules
 dist/
+tmp/

src/ffmpeg.ts

@@ -0,0 +1,64 @@
+import FFmpeg from 'fluent-ffmpeg';
+import path from 'path';
+import fs from 'fs';
+import EventEmitter from 'events';
+
+let inProgress: Array<string> = [];
+let funnyListener = new EventEmitter(); 
+
+export default function(ip: string): Promise<string> {
+    return new Promise((resolve, reject) => {
+        let outPath = path.join(__dirname, '..', 'tmp', ip + '.mp4');
+
+        if (inProgress.indexOf(ip) > -1) {
+            console.log('Sending video for ' + ip + ' (awaiting)');
+            funnyListener.on(ip, () => {
+                resolve(outPath);
+            });
+        } else {
+            if (fs.existsSync(outPath)) {
+                console.log('Sending video for ' + ip);
+                resolve(outPath);
+                return;
+            }
+
+            console.log('Generating video for: ' + ip);
+
+            inProgress.push(ip);
+
+            let command = FFmpeg();
+
+            command
+                .input(path.join(__dirname, '..', 'assets', 'spongebob.png'))
+                .loop(1)
+                .input(path.join(__dirname, '..', 'assets', 'coconut.wav'))
+                .videoFilter(
+                    "drawtext=fontfile=assets/comic.ttf:"
+                    + `text='${ip.replace(new RegExp(':', 'g'), '\\:')}':`
+                    + "fontcolor=white:"
+                    + `fontsize=${ip.length > 15 ? '80' : '150'}:`
+                    + "box=1:"
+                    + "boxcolor=black@0.3:"
+                    + "boxborderw=5:"
+                    + "x=(w-text_w)/2:y=(h-text_h)/2:"
+                    + "enable='gte(t,8)'")
+                .addOption('-t 0:21')
+                .addOption('-tune stillimage')
+                .addOption('-pix_fmt yuv420p')
+                .addOption('-shortest')
+                .addOption('-preset veryfast')
+                .videoCodec('libx264')
+                .audioCodec('aac')
+                .output(outPath);
+
+            command.run();
+
+            command.on('end', () => {
+                funnyListener.emit(ip);
+                funnyListener.removeAllListeners(ip);
+                inProgress.splice(inProgress.indexOf(ip), 1);
+                resolve(outPath);
+            });
+        }
+    });
+}

src/index.ts

@@ -1,18 +1,17 @@
 import Express from 'express';
-import ffmpeg from 'fluent-ffmpeg';
+import fs from 'fs';
 import path from 'path';
+import makeVideo from './ffmpeg';
+
+let p = path.join(__dirname, '..', 'tmp');
+if (!fs.existsSync(p)) fs.mkdirSync(p);
 
 const app = Express();
 
-let h = 0;
-
-app.get('/', (req, res) => {
-    h++;
-    res.send('aaa: ' + h);
-});
-
-app.get('/video', (req, res) => {
-    res.sendFile(path.join(__dirname, '..', 'assets', 'coconut.wav'));
+app.get('/', async (req, res) => {
+    let ip = req.header('X-Forwarded-For')?.split(', ')[0] || req.ip;
+    let filePath = await makeVideo(ip);
+    res.sendFile(filePath);
 });
 
 app.listen(6969);